Can a man be a boudoir photographer? Of course, with all things being equal. However, it’s a question that comes up all the time. In this post, I am going to address the question, why should I hire a male boudoir photographer.
I will do so by listing 3 reasons to consider and how male boudoir photographers may differ from female boudoir photographers.
But first, I have to qualify the term, may differ.
I am not a fan of generalizations and in the end, I like to believe the gender of the photographer should not make a difference. However, I recognize, as a matter of personal preference, why some women would be inclined to choose a female photographer over a male photographer. It comes down to comfort.
I can understand that.
In my blog post, Why I’m a Male Boudoir Photographer, I address the most common questions that come up during an initial client consultation. Usually, once I’ve answered the question of why they become comfortable.
They are ready to share with me the reasons for wanting a boudoir shoot. They then explain why they choose a male boudoir photographer.
Here are some of the most common reasons the women I’ve worked for have hired me as their male boudoir photographer.
1. They want a man’s point of view.
Regardless of gender, we are all artists. However, they’ve also said they wanted a different perspective. To put it bluntly, they want to be seen as women who are desired and desire has at its root knowing what is attractive.
Men and women differ in what they may find attractive. Many of the women I’ve worked for have said their girlfriends tell them they’re beautiful, all the time. But, when it’s said, it doesn’t come from a place of desire.
Because of this, they get the feeling that if they were to work with a female boudoir photographer, it would be more of that. No doubt, the pictures would come out amazing but would it stir desire on a primal level?
The women I work with want to be wanted. Especially after going through tough times.
Male boudoir photographers, on the other hand, can translate what they’d find desirous in a way that’s artistic and flattering without making the woman feel as if she’s an object.
To sum up this feeling, at one boudoir session I had a client ask me to play Portishead Live at Roseland in New York City. By the time they performed the song, Glory Box, she was in her zone.
She sang along to the lyric, “I just want to be a woman.”
2. They don’t want to be judged.
When I first heard this reason as a factor in hiring a male boudoir photographer it surprised and confused me at the same time. I always thought women would feel more comfortable being photographed by other women. However, after being involved in boudoir photography for several years I now understand and agree.
Women don’t want to find themselves judged by other women. Especially when they just want to be a woman who wants to be desired by others.
I know that is not the reality. Yet, for a nervous woman, they get it in their head that a female boudoir photographer would pass judgment.
This fear makes them less willing to want to try out some poses or truly be in the moment.
This is the same type of inhibition women would feel if they were to have their husband, boyfriend, or significant other at a boudoir session.
It’s antithetical to the notion of empowerment to feel this type of inhibition at a moment where you want to feel it’s all about you. Many of the women who chose to have boudoir sessions do so because they want the focus to be on them. Especially when, in their daily lives, their mental energy is spread thin and they forget to even consider themselves for anything.
3. No inhibition, especially when creating a gift.
In the past, I’ve done some wedding photography. Many brides would mention how they wanted to give a gift to the grooms on their wedding day. I’m no longer into wedding photography however I’ve continued working with women who want to give the gift of boudoir pictures to their significant other. That’s their way of expressing love to the men they desire.
At that moment in their lives, they don’t want to hear any comments that would make them feel self-conscious. Because it does happen.
It’s what I’ve been told by the women I’ve worked with. To do something for the pleasure of a man has become shameful and wrong.
I have no say in that discussion. I do have a say in how my photography can bring two people closer. Because of that I also have a say in not making my clients feel shame for that. Much like the say I have in my photography helping women in how they perceive their bodies and not feel shame.
It goes to the reasons women often speak of for wanting a boudoir photo shoot.
Those pictures not only remind women of who they are, strong and beautiful, but it also reminds the significant others in their lives, as well.
They should count themselves lucky to have the women they have in their lives. Don’t take these women for granted. This is essential in building confidence.
In the end, go with the best photographer for you.
A photographer who’s style and vision syncs up with what you would want for a boudoir photo shoot. Male or female, all of us are professionals who care about creating photographs that will make you feel accepted, empowered, and most of all, sexy.